There’s this girl that I have known…..for a couple of scores.
She’s so different from the others…..one among crores!
She has her own style….her special way to emote.
An original to the core, she will never learn by rote.
While girls her age have vivacious laughter, she has a silent smile.
She may skip clubbing for solitude; but for a friend, she’ll walk a mile.
When peers have a narrow vision of life, she has a world view.
She may be quiet most times, but there’s something inside, ready to brew.
When the world around her had selfish goals, she had shared aspirations.
While kids were into comics, she devoured literary creations.
When friends looked for attractive relationships, she searched a sensitive soul.
While peers wanted success, to have a kind heart was her solitary goal.
When her cousins discussed hairstyles, she was engrossed in books on philosophy.
When batchmates were hungry for ranks, learnjoying was her priority.
In these times of material success, rat race and objectivity.
She humbles me all the time, with her expansive sensitivity.
Dear Nikita……..be the way you are …….coz u rock the way you are!
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Bombay - My "home" town!
I came across it as a 20year old, wide-eyed and over-awed by the splendour, as I enrolled in a management course in its precincts. The entrepreneur’s delight, the investor’s market, the filmmaker’s canvas and the businessman’s favourite , the city of dreams, Mumbai, is the crucible of new India. When I step onto any of its streets, any time of day, a surge of inspiration shoots up my veins. I try to understand why.
History
From the magnificent Taj Mahal hotel (ranked as the best hotel in the world at the time of its opening, more than a hundred years ago) to the bustling business district of Nariman Point (which was once the costliest place on earth); from the iconic Bombay Stock Exchange Building to the imperial buildings in town, the city is steeped in rich business history. And as one walks past such hallowed edifices, one is overwhelmed as much by their magnificence as by the knowledge that past business luminaries have treaded the same steps.
Professionalism
Be it the six-sigma decorated dabbawalas of Mumbai which carry 200,000 tiffin boxes a day on time to the metro train service which ferries 7 million passengers a day, there is world clas professionalism in any service that you use in the city.
Energy
Renowned screenwriter Simon Beaufoy, when filming Slumdog Millionaire in Mumbai, had commented and I quote, “I wanted to get across the sense of this huge amount of fun, laughter, chat and sense of community that is in these slums. What you pick up on is this mass of energy”. It is this characteristic buzz and zing of the city which is so uplifting.
Never say die spirit
Whether there be floods (26th July, 2005), serial bomb blasts (11th July, 2006) or terrorist attacks (26th Nov, 2008), the city is up on its toes the next morning. The attitude on display is a veritable lesson in life – howsover hard do the adversities hit you, you hit the road back harder.
History
From the magnificent Taj Mahal hotel (ranked as the best hotel in the world at the time of its opening, more than a hundred years ago) to the bustling business district of Nariman Point (which was once the costliest place on earth); from the iconic Bombay Stock Exchange Building to the imperial buildings in town, the city is steeped in rich business history. And as one walks past such hallowed edifices, one is overwhelmed as much by their magnificence as by the knowledge that past business luminaries have treaded the same steps.
Professionalism
Be it the six-sigma decorated dabbawalas of Mumbai which carry 200,000 tiffin boxes a day on time to the metro train service which ferries 7 million passengers a day, there is world clas professionalism in any service that you use in the city.
Energy
Renowned screenwriter Simon Beaufoy, when filming Slumdog Millionaire in Mumbai, had commented and I quote, “I wanted to get across the sense of this huge amount of fun, laughter, chat and sense of community that is in these slums. What you pick up on is this mass of energy”. It is this characteristic buzz and zing of the city which is so uplifting.
Never say die spirit
Whether there be floods (26th July, 2005), serial bomb blasts (11th July, 2006) or terrorist attacks (26th Nov, 2008), the city is up on its toes the next morning. The attitude on display is a veritable lesson in life – howsover hard do the adversities hit you, you hit the road back harder.
Slumdog Millionaire!
India is a country of paradoxes. While she has 7 billionaires in the list of 100 richest people in the world (The highest from any country outside the United States and Germany), one in four Indian actually lives below the poverty line! While there may be over 50 million graduates in the country, we still have the most number of illiterates in the world. We may have given to the world, Gandhi, Budhha and Mother Teresa, but we still fight proxy wars with our neighbours at the borders and incessant battles with rioters inside them. We may be exporting cars, phones, food and arms but still a substantial proportion of country does not have roads, electricity, suffers from hunger and is defenseless against simple diseases. We may have succeeded in becoming the solutions-provider of the world, but in the haste, somewhere we forgot to fix our own problems!
But, just as this is the land of suffering, so it is the world of opportunity. While there are these wide chasms between the haves and the have-nots in the country, the India of today, is a much more rewarding marketplace than it was ever before. 8 of the top 10 billionaires in India have created wealth only in the past 3-4 decades, rising phoenix-like from their crawling existence, rather than inheriting it from their forefathers. Industries like software, telecom, retail, media, entertainment today compete globally. In annual strategic meetings of major corporations, chances are, that slides of India outnumber those of any other country.
As a citizen of this bustling economy, and as a corporate worker in the financial capital of the country, I am exposed to this disparity in my day-to-day existence. As I wake up, and look out of the window - tall, impressive luxurious residences juxtapose with shabby unhygienic shanties. When I drive to work, long, expensive, chauffeur driven cars are camouflaged by ill-dressed, bare-footed children selling hand-made artifacts, as indeed their innocence, cheaply. Man’s behaviour, I presume, is the sum total of his reactions to stimuli around him. As I got subjected to such exposure, I grew extremely sensitive to the privileges of my existence. And this exposure dawned on me a couple of realizations. One, I live in times of explosive growth and fabulous opportunities, and two, the realities of poor environs can not just be wished away.
The intertwining of these two fundamental premises of today’s generation of my country has been exquisitely captured in a recent work of global cinema. Watching Slumdog Millionaire, the much decorated movie of recent times has been a thought-altering experience. There had been a churn of emotions over these years, and the movie acted as a catalyst in bringing them forth and sparking off concrete action from my side. Before I delve deeper, let me briefly outline the story.
The movie tells the story of a young boy, born and bred in deprivation. He struggles for formal education, rather “learning” from lessons of his tough life. Religious riots take away his mother from him, while his subsequent orphaning and poverty make him vulnerable to local crime masters. He frees himself by fleeing, growing up on small time jobs as his brother loses his way to crime. Fate puts him on a pedestal with a chance to win millions in a television chat-show, where he needs to answer a list of questions to wade his way through. The narrative is graphically presented via these questions as he answers all of them correctly to win the booty.
As much as it is a wonderful work of art, the essence of the film and indeed the book (Vikas Swarup’s Q and A – on which the movie is based) is captured by the protagonist’s (Jamaal) journey of life. The story may seem simplistic as a rags to riches one. Yet the finesse with which it is told left a lasting impression on my mind. It brings out certain qualities of the protagonist which are inspiring and worth emulating.
Energy and Attitude
The depiction stands out for the amazing zing that it brings to screen. It brings out the vitality of Indian life. As screenwriter Simon Beaufoy has commented and I quote, “I wanted to get across the sense of this huge amount of fun, laughter, chat and sense of community that is in these slums. What you pick up on is this mass of energy”. When I watch the movie, I realise that such energy is so typical of India and so infectious and uplifting.
I have been more aware of the impact that channelisation of such energy brings to the workplace. We live in a country of chaos, and managing success from such situations gives one the confidence. I remember reading Kanwal Rekhi’s words (highly respected venture capitalist at the Silicon Valley and the first Indian to be on the board of an international company) and he said, “when you learn to trek the tough Indian roads, the journey on fast developed highways is so much smoother”. Though I may not have faced as many hardships as Jamaal does in the film, I realized that growing up in a tough competitive environment in India readies one up for bigger challenges in life.
It is this attitude that I carry moving forward. While there may have been constraints on resources and limitations of exposure in the early part of my life, it actually stands up as a robust platform for worldly success in future. Navigating one’s way through life in a small town (where I come from), getting competitive to reach a respectable institution of learning (where I studied for my MMS) and then working at the major consumer goods companies in the country has hardened me and makes me confident to face the challenges of the next stage in life.
Grit and Unbeatable odds
The protagonist experiences upheavals of immense magnitude. From losing his parents, to life in abject poverty and to being within a gunshot of death, there were multiple occasions to succumb. But he held on, gritting his way through to success.
One takes away this lesson of sustained perseverance to one’s life. The learning for me as I encounter problems at work is that the enormity of work challenges seems to diminish when the determination to succeed is stronger.
The foremost lesson brought home by the story is that no odds are unbeatable. Or is it, that when you refuse to be cowed down, victory is inevitable. As I visit sales teams exhorting them to higher performance, this equation is vivid in my eyes. Victory is but, the absence of acceptance of defeat. A failure is but, another step towards success.
Ethics and Destiny
For a person who lived on the edge of existence, money would have been a big motivator and crime an apparent conduit. It would have been easy to cheat, as he did not have much to lose. Also, his brother in the story could not resist crossing the line. However, the conscious effort on Jamaal’s part to stay ethical despite failures is to be marveled. As I evaluate work decisions, I get enamoured by such traps as well. The rewards are blinding. But when one looks at the long-term trade-offs ethical decisions always make business sense as well. When one is ethical, one inspires trust. When one is trustworthy, there is greater transparency, confidence and smoother transactions. Channel partners and team members are enthused to deliver more.
Another subtle lesson in the movie is the pivotal part of destiny in one’s life. But, the creation of destiny is not providential. Instead, it is a culmination of the cumulative actions and intent of our lives with a sprinkling of luck. When things go wrong, it’s easy to slight and curse fate. But, for me the realization from the story was that one needs to focus on one’s action all the time, and things would take care of themselves. In a way, it was a reminder of the essence from Bhagvad Geeta, the religious scripture I learnt as a child, that one’s actions should be guided by the sense of duty and the right results would be a natural consequence. Too often in my work life earlier, I was impatient for results and may have taken some decisions solely with the result in mind. Rather, as a team leader, I must lay stress on building and executing processes, and subsequently, the results would follow.
Money is Important but Incidental
A corollary to the above, brought about by the end that the movie moves to, is the fact that one needs to be working towards the objective, rather than the money. In this case, it was to, one, reconnect with his brother, and two, to destrangulate his long lost love interest from her morbid state. The game show was just a means to achieve that, and the money earned through the show, though significant, is secondary to the main cause.
As I extrapolate the insight onto my work life, I realize the importance of this imbibed learning. On career decisions, on project evaluations and on deal decisions, while money may remain an important criterion, it must never be the overriding one. One must understand the work culture, environment, bosses and mentoring programmes in a company before applying for a job. There should be connect and a direction to the longer term career objective that the job would provide. Similarly, some projects may be profitable in the short-term but detrimental in the long-term interests of the company. For example, mis-selling an insurance product as a pure savings tool may get the sales team the customer, but in the long run, would tarnish the image of the organization. As a responsible corporate manager, I must stop such practices from flourishing.
Face poverty head-on
As I left the movie theatre fresh after experiencing the masterpiece, a flux of emotions gripped me. As much as I was awed by the technical brilliance of presentation, it was the story and the depiction that moved me. As elaborated above, I wowed at the message of positivity that emanated at the climax. I let the feeling settle itself and churned it many times later to evolve my learning from the classic.
However, there was another feeling that stayed on. The stark reality of poverty, disease and helplessness of millions of young children in the metro cities of India was realistically portrayed in the movie. The images lingered on my psyche for weeks together. This was the life that I had been witnessing by living in Mumbai over the past 5 years. However, from being kind and sensitive, I was turning reticent and indifferent. Slumdog Millionaire stirred up emotions inside me, which made me restless in the weeks to come. It made me pick up the cause and start contributing. I enrolled for the services of volunteering in the city slums.
The journey which was sparked by a film that I watched in February, bridged to a volunteering association in May. As I started spending time with the NGO (ivolunteer.in) on weekends, I realized the magnitude of work and the limited time that I could offer to the cause. Further discussions with the NGO and a lot of introspection later, I decided to contribute a year of my life to the cause. The decision further led to my joining the organization full time in October, 2009.
The next year, for me then, marks the year of giving back to society. I view it as the culmination of the initial phase of my career (9 years thus), after which I want to go back to the corporate world. As I move higher to positions of greater influence, post my MBA in 2011, I am hopeful that I will be able to impact society in a bigger scale, and help my country move faster in her journey towards excellence.
But, just as this is the land of suffering, so it is the world of opportunity. While there are these wide chasms between the haves and the have-nots in the country, the India of today, is a much more rewarding marketplace than it was ever before. 8 of the top 10 billionaires in India have created wealth only in the past 3-4 decades, rising phoenix-like from their crawling existence, rather than inheriting it from their forefathers. Industries like software, telecom, retail, media, entertainment today compete globally. In annual strategic meetings of major corporations, chances are, that slides of India outnumber those of any other country.
As a citizen of this bustling economy, and as a corporate worker in the financial capital of the country, I am exposed to this disparity in my day-to-day existence. As I wake up, and look out of the window - tall, impressive luxurious residences juxtapose with shabby unhygienic shanties. When I drive to work, long, expensive, chauffeur driven cars are camouflaged by ill-dressed, bare-footed children selling hand-made artifacts, as indeed their innocence, cheaply. Man’s behaviour, I presume, is the sum total of his reactions to stimuli around him. As I got subjected to such exposure, I grew extremely sensitive to the privileges of my existence. And this exposure dawned on me a couple of realizations. One, I live in times of explosive growth and fabulous opportunities, and two, the realities of poor environs can not just be wished away.
The intertwining of these two fundamental premises of today’s generation of my country has been exquisitely captured in a recent work of global cinema. Watching Slumdog Millionaire, the much decorated movie of recent times has been a thought-altering experience. There had been a churn of emotions over these years, and the movie acted as a catalyst in bringing them forth and sparking off concrete action from my side. Before I delve deeper, let me briefly outline the story.
The movie tells the story of a young boy, born and bred in deprivation. He struggles for formal education, rather “learning” from lessons of his tough life. Religious riots take away his mother from him, while his subsequent orphaning and poverty make him vulnerable to local crime masters. He frees himself by fleeing, growing up on small time jobs as his brother loses his way to crime. Fate puts him on a pedestal with a chance to win millions in a television chat-show, where he needs to answer a list of questions to wade his way through. The narrative is graphically presented via these questions as he answers all of them correctly to win the booty.
As much as it is a wonderful work of art, the essence of the film and indeed the book (Vikas Swarup’s Q and A – on which the movie is based) is captured by the protagonist’s (Jamaal) journey of life. The story may seem simplistic as a rags to riches one. Yet the finesse with which it is told left a lasting impression on my mind. It brings out certain qualities of the protagonist which are inspiring and worth emulating.
Energy and Attitude
The depiction stands out for the amazing zing that it brings to screen. It brings out the vitality of Indian life. As screenwriter Simon Beaufoy has commented and I quote, “I wanted to get across the sense of this huge amount of fun, laughter, chat and sense of community that is in these slums. What you pick up on is this mass of energy”. When I watch the movie, I realise that such energy is so typical of India and so infectious and uplifting.
I have been more aware of the impact that channelisation of such energy brings to the workplace. We live in a country of chaos, and managing success from such situations gives one the confidence. I remember reading Kanwal Rekhi’s words (highly respected venture capitalist at the Silicon Valley and the first Indian to be on the board of an international company) and he said, “when you learn to trek the tough Indian roads, the journey on fast developed highways is so much smoother”. Though I may not have faced as many hardships as Jamaal does in the film, I realized that growing up in a tough competitive environment in India readies one up for bigger challenges in life.
It is this attitude that I carry moving forward. While there may have been constraints on resources and limitations of exposure in the early part of my life, it actually stands up as a robust platform for worldly success in future. Navigating one’s way through life in a small town (where I come from), getting competitive to reach a respectable institution of learning (where I studied for my MMS) and then working at the major consumer goods companies in the country has hardened me and makes me confident to face the challenges of the next stage in life.
Grit and Unbeatable odds
The protagonist experiences upheavals of immense magnitude. From losing his parents, to life in abject poverty and to being within a gunshot of death, there were multiple occasions to succumb. But he held on, gritting his way through to success.
One takes away this lesson of sustained perseverance to one’s life. The learning for me as I encounter problems at work is that the enormity of work challenges seems to diminish when the determination to succeed is stronger.
The foremost lesson brought home by the story is that no odds are unbeatable. Or is it, that when you refuse to be cowed down, victory is inevitable. As I visit sales teams exhorting them to higher performance, this equation is vivid in my eyes. Victory is but, the absence of acceptance of defeat. A failure is but, another step towards success.
Ethics and Destiny
For a person who lived on the edge of existence, money would have been a big motivator and crime an apparent conduit. It would have been easy to cheat, as he did not have much to lose. Also, his brother in the story could not resist crossing the line. However, the conscious effort on Jamaal’s part to stay ethical despite failures is to be marveled. As I evaluate work decisions, I get enamoured by such traps as well. The rewards are blinding. But when one looks at the long-term trade-offs ethical decisions always make business sense as well. When one is ethical, one inspires trust. When one is trustworthy, there is greater transparency, confidence and smoother transactions. Channel partners and team members are enthused to deliver more.
Another subtle lesson in the movie is the pivotal part of destiny in one’s life. But, the creation of destiny is not providential. Instead, it is a culmination of the cumulative actions and intent of our lives with a sprinkling of luck. When things go wrong, it’s easy to slight and curse fate. But, for me the realization from the story was that one needs to focus on one’s action all the time, and things would take care of themselves. In a way, it was a reminder of the essence from Bhagvad Geeta, the religious scripture I learnt as a child, that one’s actions should be guided by the sense of duty and the right results would be a natural consequence. Too often in my work life earlier, I was impatient for results and may have taken some decisions solely with the result in mind. Rather, as a team leader, I must lay stress on building and executing processes, and subsequently, the results would follow.
Money is Important but Incidental
A corollary to the above, brought about by the end that the movie moves to, is the fact that one needs to be working towards the objective, rather than the money. In this case, it was to, one, reconnect with his brother, and two, to destrangulate his long lost love interest from her morbid state. The game show was just a means to achieve that, and the money earned through the show, though significant, is secondary to the main cause.
As I extrapolate the insight onto my work life, I realize the importance of this imbibed learning. On career decisions, on project evaluations and on deal decisions, while money may remain an important criterion, it must never be the overriding one. One must understand the work culture, environment, bosses and mentoring programmes in a company before applying for a job. There should be connect and a direction to the longer term career objective that the job would provide. Similarly, some projects may be profitable in the short-term but detrimental in the long-term interests of the company. For example, mis-selling an insurance product as a pure savings tool may get the sales team the customer, but in the long run, would tarnish the image of the organization. As a responsible corporate manager, I must stop such practices from flourishing.
Face poverty head-on
As I left the movie theatre fresh after experiencing the masterpiece, a flux of emotions gripped me. As much as I was awed by the technical brilliance of presentation, it was the story and the depiction that moved me. As elaborated above, I wowed at the message of positivity that emanated at the climax. I let the feeling settle itself and churned it many times later to evolve my learning from the classic.
However, there was another feeling that stayed on. The stark reality of poverty, disease and helplessness of millions of young children in the metro cities of India was realistically portrayed in the movie. The images lingered on my psyche for weeks together. This was the life that I had been witnessing by living in Mumbai over the past 5 years. However, from being kind and sensitive, I was turning reticent and indifferent. Slumdog Millionaire stirred up emotions inside me, which made me restless in the weeks to come. It made me pick up the cause and start contributing. I enrolled for the services of volunteering in the city slums.
The journey which was sparked by a film that I watched in February, bridged to a volunteering association in May. As I started spending time with the NGO (ivolunteer.in) on weekends, I realized the magnitude of work and the limited time that I could offer to the cause. Further discussions with the NGO and a lot of introspection later, I decided to contribute a year of my life to the cause. The decision further led to my joining the organization full time in October, 2009.
The next year, for me then, marks the year of giving back to society. I view it as the culmination of the initial phase of my career (9 years thus), after which I want to go back to the corporate world. As I move higher to positions of greater influence, post my MBA in 2011, I am hopeful that I will be able to impact society in a bigger scale, and help my country move faster in her journey towards excellence.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
khafaa hain voe humse.....
Naraaz hain voe humse, ki humne jism naheen kiya zaahir unko.....
Voe jaante nahin, ki hum toe unki aankhon se aapne zakhm chuppathey hain
She's angry that i do not bare myself in her presence......
little does she realise, that i want to save her eyes from the sight of my wounds...
Voe jaante nahin, ki hum toe unki aankhon se aapne zakhm chuppathey hain
She's angry that i do not bare myself in her presence......
little does she realise, that i want to save her eyes from the sight of my wounds...
i just wish.....
Rather these quarrels, i just wish.....
i have your shoulder to lean onto,
your ears to whisper to.....
your hair to caress,
your lips against mine to press.....
your arms to lie wrapped in,
your eyes to forever gaze into.....
your bosom to rest my head at,
your forehead to kiss to.....
your spirit to be one with,
your soul to merge to.....
your breath to take in all night,
your presence to wake up to.....
Rather these fights, i just wish.....
i have your shoulder to lean onto,
your ears to whisper to.....
your hair to caress,
your lips against mine to press.....
your arms to lie wrapped in,
your eyes to forever gaze into.....
your bosom to rest my head at,
your forehead to kiss to.....
your spirit to be one with,
your soul to merge to.....
your breath to take in all night,
your presence to wake up to.....
Rather these fights, i just wish.....
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Why am i a failure?
I had been introspecting today to understand the reasons as to why have I not been successful in life uptil now. I mean, my teachers, professors, bosses, friends and wellwishers have tired of telling me that I am a "high potential, low performance" guy. So today, I finally decide to do something about it! For starters, let me first diagnose the disease, before i try and cure it :-)
I believe the following have been the biggest reasons preventing my ascent:
a) I did not study / work hard - In school, college, MBA and jobs that I undertook, i never put in the effort that I should have. Essentially, I studied as much to ensure that I did not fail (which incidentally, i still did on numerous occasions!). At work, i tried to ensure to do as much to survive in the company, to survive the month, the quarter etc. In hindsight, it was just not the right work ethic at all. As to why did i NOT put in the hours, i delve deeper to find out the reasons.......
b) I did not have a "target" in mind - in places, times where I did not succeed, i realise now, that I did not have a specific target in mind. e.g. to score 90%, to be the best area manager in the region etc. Work, has thus been a "filler" in between sleep and weekends, rather than a place where I go to attain a goal. Thus, I have been reactive to situations, rather than being "ahead" of the game......
c) I did not "fear" failure - I think now, that it is healthy to be fearful of failure. Perhaps, that nervous energy is essential to channelise efforts optimally. I was casual about not being successful. It did not matter enough. None of my assignments were taken up as a last resort to be clung on to. I guess, sumtimes, it is critical to be in a do-or-die situation (no pun intended) to succeed.....
d) I did not have the extra "zing" to do well - When life got stretched, I cracked. When the long hours were to be put in, when the midnight oil was to be burnt, when a special effort was required, I went to sleep. I was not motivated enough to put in the extra mile, that last lunge, that night out to be victorious.......
e) I did not have a "future picture" in mind - Despite encountering this question in interviews for the past 12 years, I never had the answer for "what do i want to be in 5/10/20 years from now". I stayed confused because I did not put in the effort to figure out the answer. I continued to struggle because i lethargised rather than resolved. Such an image, i think, is the rudder which helps overcome a drowning ship in trying circumstances. It is probably the star, which one continues to see, despite the thunderstorms. For me, rain clouds were enough to wash my vision away......
f) I felt confused about the "rat race" - I never could assimilate and clearly establish my relationship with the "rat race" - I mean, is it derogatory to be part of it? Or is it good to be "in" it? Should I be happy and try my best to succeed? Or should I just stand away and proclaim to be not a part of it? (and thus ahead, in sum strange way!) When i failed, I was quick to admonish the drudgery, the sycophancy, the unfairness and the element of chance in success. When, on few occasions, i did succeed, i revelled in the glory, pointing out talent, hard work and how i created my own destiny! Deep inside, i was never at peace with the phenomenon......
This is thus my understanding. Your vies are welcome :-)
I believe the following have been the biggest reasons preventing my ascent:
a) I did not study / work hard - In school, college, MBA and jobs that I undertook, i never put in the effort that I should have. Essentially, I studied as much to ensure that I did not fail (which incidentally, i still did on numerous occasions!). At work, i tried to ensure to do as much to survive in the company, to survive the month, the quarter etc. In hindsight, it was just not the right work ethic at all. As to why did i NOT put in the hours, i delve deeper to find out the reasons.......
b) I did not have a "target" in mind - in places, times where I did not succeed, i realise now, that I did not have a specific target in mind. e.g. to score 90%, to be the best area manager in the region etc. Work, has thus been a "filler" in between sleep and weekends, rather than a place where I go to attain a goal. Thus, I have been reactive to situations, rather than being "ahead" of the game......
c) I did not "fear" failure - I think now, that it is healthy to be fearful of failure. Perhaps, that nervous energy is essential to channelise efforts optimally. I was casual about not being successful. It did not matter enough. None of my assignments were taken up as a last resort to be clung on to. I guess, sumtimes, it is critical to be in a do-or-die situation (no pun intended) to succeed.....
d) I did not have the extra "zing" to do well - When life got stretched, I cracked. When the long hours were to be put in, when the midnight oil was to be burnt, when a special effort was required, I went to sleep. I was not motivated enough to put in the extra mile, that last lunge, that night out to be victorious.......
e) I did not have a "future picture" in mind - Despite encountering this question in interviews for the past 12 years, I never had the answer for "what do i want to be in 5/10/20 years from now". I stayed confused because I did not put in the effort to figure out the answer. I continued to struggle because i lethargised rather than resolved. Such an image, i think, is the rudder which helps overcome a drowning ship in trying circumstances. It is probably the star, which one continues to see, despite the thunderstorms. For me, rain clouds were enough to wash my vision away......
f) I felt confused about the "rat race" - I never could assimilate and clearly establish my relationship with the "rat race" - I mean, is it derogatory to be part of it? Or is it good to be "in" it? Should I be happy and try my best to succeed? Or should I just stand away and proclaim to be not a part of it? (and thus ahead, in sum strange way!) When i failed, I was quick to admonish the drudgery, the sycophancy, the unfairness and the element of chance in success. When, on few occasions, i did succeed, i revelled in the glory, pointing out talent, hard work and how i created my own destiny! Deep inside, i was never at peace with the phenomenon......
This is thus my understanding. Your vies are welcome :-)
What do I want from a job?
I was introspecting today to figure out the real inner drivers towards a job for me. This is what I could identify!
Factors influencing the job that I want to do - fundamental questions
1)it shud have hi quality people/ information around me
2)it shud be beneficial to society/ country
3)it shud give me good money
4)it shud prepare me for the future
5)it shud have variety, not monotony
6)it shud have flexible work times/ long leave
7)it shud be intellectually stimulating
8)it shud affect/influence large section of society
the reasons for the same as I could understand were respectively:
1) so that I learn and be a better person/professional
2) so that I perform with conviction
3) so that I can have financial security
4) Whatever I am learning should substantially help me in my BIG PLAN of life
5) so that I am learning newer things frequently
6) so that I can balance work-personal life and recharge myself
7) so that I can peak my faculties and feel properly "used"
8) it would make me feel "powerful" and worthy
I then assigned weights to individual reasons and tried to fit in various jobs that I could have / may have had earlier to realise which ones are the best fit! Is my reasoning right? Does this list need editing?
your views are welcome! :-)
Factors influencing the job that I want to do - fundamental questions
1)it shud have hi quality people/ information around me
2)it shud be beneficial to society/ country
3)it shud give me good money
4)it shud prepare me for the future
5)it shud have variety, not monotony
6)it shud have flexible work times/ long leave
7)it shud be intellectually stimulating
8)it shud affect/influence large section of society
the reasons for the same as I could understand were respectively:
1) so that I learn and be a better person/professional
2) so that I perform with conviction
3) so that I can have financial security
4) Whatever I am learning should substantially help me in my BIG PLAN of life
5) so that I am learning newer things frequently
6) so that I can balance work-personal life and recharge myself
7) so that I can peak my faculties and feel properly "used"
8) it would make me feel "powerful" and worthy
I then assigned weights to individual reasons and tried to fit in various jobs that I could have / may have had earlier to realise which ones are the best fit! Is my reasoning right? Does this list need editing?
your views are welcome! :-)
Thursday, April 30, 2009
The angel in my life
In good old Bombay, the sun kisses the Taj sea each dawn
Peeping behind the Gateway as the waves blush and turn fawn
Smiling rays of warmth over the prisoners of destiny’s city
As they open their eyes to embrace another morning of uncertainty
It is this shrine that I accidentally treaded an October night,
With prayers in my heart, & stars in my eyes, my dreams took flight.
I entered the temple, climbed up high and hit the worship bell,
The door opened, and little did I know, there stood my life’s angel.
The sinner in me didn’t recognize - she was God’s gift to me
I may have lost my blessing then, but that was not to be
Five seasons hence providence smiled brightly on me again
As she held my hand in hers, that was the end of my pain
She worries about me, as a mother would care
But all my troubles vanish, when she caresses my hair
She guides me as a brother, when I am in trouble
And grips me strong, not allowing me to crumble
As a father, she scolds me bad when I go astray
But I can’t rebel against her, come what may
She teases me playfully, as only a loving sister would
But allows me to win games with her, so that I feel good
She speaks quietly with her eyes, as they engulf all my sorrow
She listens intently as a friend, without raising her brow
When I am perplexed and my mind goes astray
She’s a guiding teacher to me, who’ll show me the way
My mind rests when I am at her bosom
She’s a loving companion who gives me all the freedom
I wished so much that she’s always be my legally wedded wife
When I needed her the most, I lost her forever– the angel in my life
Peeping behind the Gateway as the waves blush and turn fawn
Smiling rays of warmth over the prisoners of destiny’s city
As they open their eyes to embrace another morning of uncertainty
It is this shrine that I accidentally treaded an October night,
With prayers in my heart, & stars in my eyes, my dreams took flight.
I entered the temple, climbed up high and hit the worship bell,
The door opened, and little did I know, there stood my life’s angel.
The sinner in me didn’t recognize - she was God’s gift to me
I may have lost my blessing then, but that was not to be
Five seasons hence providence smiled brightly on me again
As she held my hand in hers, that was the end of my pain
She worries about me, as a mother would care
But all my troubles vanish, when she caresses my hair
She guides me as a brother, when I am in trouble
And grips me strong, not allowing me to crumble
As a father, she scolds me bad when I go astray
But I can’t rebel against her, come what may
She teases me playfully, as only a loving sister would
But allows me to win games with her, so that I feel good
She speaks quietly with her eyes, as they engulf all my sorrow
She listens intently as a friend, without raising her brow
When I am perplexed and my mind goes astray
She’s a guiding teacher to me, who’ll show me the way
My mind rests when I am at her bosom
She’s a loving companion who gives me all the freedom
I wished so much that she’s always be my legally wedded wife
When I needed her the most, I lost her forever– the angel in my life
I am always there for you!
Written on Raakhi'1993, when Bryan Adams was in, Boris Becker was playing flawless tennis and we did not know who Shah Rukh Khan is!
Dear Swati,
Whether it is dark; whether it is sunshine,
Remember Sister, I am always here for you.
When you are victorious and full of joy,
Or when life is difficult and makes you cry,
When you came home after beating them all
Or when they pulled and you did fall,
When you feel disappointed over the chances you blew,
And come back home, depressed and blue.
When you are sad and your eyes are full of tears,
When friends turn foes and there are no peers
When others had their way and you didn’t have a clue
When you are apprehensive and the options confuse you
Remember sister, I am always here for you
When people say things they did not intend to
When you feel the world is hypocritical and untrue
But you do not know whom to talk to,
Remember sister, I am always here for you
When you need help and you don’t know whom to ask for
Just stretch your hand a little further and you’ll find me there
For remember sister, I am always there for you
And when somebody gives chocolates to you
Remember Swati, I am always here for you
Yes, you know it’s true
I am always here for you
Yours, always,
Rahul
Dear Swati,
Whether it is dark; whether it is sunshine,
Remember Sister, I am always here for you.
When you are victorious and full of joy,
Or when life is difficult and makes you cry,
When you came home after beating them all
Or when they pulled and you did fall,
When you feel disappointed over the chances you blew,
And come back home, depressed and blue.
When you are sad and your eyes are full of tears,
When friends turn foes and there are no peers
When others had their way and you didn’t have a clue
When you are apprehensive and the options confuse you
Remember sister, I am always here for you
When people say things they did not intend to
When you feel the world is hypocritical and untrue
But you do not know whom to talk to,
Remember sister, I am always here for you
When you need help and you don’t know whom to ask for
Just stretch your hand a little further and you’ll find me there
For remember sister, I am always there for you
And when somebody gives chocolates to you
Remember Swati, I am always here for you
Yes, you know it’s true
I am always here for you
Yours, always,
Rahul
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Dear Bro-in-law
As you take my sister away in her Doli, just wanted to pen a few lines……………
It’s a small journey for her, but a big farewell for us
She’s been a Doll at times, a Dadima at others…….
The first step she took, we were around to make sure she doesn’t fall
She smiled back, telling us as that she can handle it all!
The first day for her in school, we were so unsure
Surprised to see others crying, she winked to reassure.
The first instance she was out alone, she made friends dazzling her smile
She was just across the street, but it seemed a mile
The first time in college, she was hesitant, but wanted to give it a try
As she gauged her potential, we realised that she is about to fly
The first time outside home, she found her canvas
As she floored peer after peer, we were there to cheer….
The first job gave her the avenue and freedom to explore
As she went about it, she realized she could do so much more
The city of Pune had its share of suitors, after each other, ready to fight
But when the twinkle in your eyes met hers, she knew she had met her knight
The next journey is the start of a bright splendorous sail to islands of bliss
Guided with a gale of love and laughter as life from now will have nothing amiss
The gateway of marriage leads her to the next planet of dreams
To galaxies of ecstasy, where affection and joy burst from seams
As you take her away to unchartered vistas of togetherness
Here’s wishing you a lifetime of delight, fun and happiness
Our eyes may be moist, our mouths may be dry
But our hearts know, this is the last time she is to cry
Coz, as you take her away in her doli to a world unseen…
The princess departs to take her rightful throne as queen
It’s a small journey for her, but a big farewell for us
She’s been a Doll at times, a Dadima at others…….
The first step she took, we were around to make sure she doesn’t fall
She smiled back, telling us as that she can handle it all!
The first day for her in school, we were so unsure
Surprised to see others crying, she winked to reassure.
The first instance she was out alone, she made friends dazzling her smile
She was just across the street, but it seemed a mile
The first time in college, she was hesitant, but wanted to give it a try
As she gauged her potential, we realised that she is about to fly
The first time outside home, she found her canvas
As she floored peer after peer, we were there to cheer….
The first job gave her the avenue and freedom to explore
As she went about it, she realized she could do so much more
The city of Pune had its share of suitors, after each other, ready to fight
But when the twinkle in your eyes met hers, she knew she had met her knight
The next journey is the start of a bright splendorous sail to islands of bliss
Guided with a gale of love and laughter as life from now will have nothing amiss
The gateway of marriage leads her to the next planet of dreams
To galaxies of ecstasy, where affection and joy burst from seams
As you take her away to unchartered vistas of togetherness
Here’s wishing you a lifetime of delight, fun and happiness
Our eyes may be moist, our mouths may be dry
But our hearts know, this is the last time she is to cry
Coz, as you take her away in her doli to a world unseen…
The princess departs to take her rightful throne as queen
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
My Mom – the “driver” in the family!
When I was in school, I remember penning a card for my mom on one of her birthdays which read something like this………
Happy birthday to someone who
Protects like a father
Guides like a brother
Teases like a sister and
Loves like a mother!
When I look back at this creation today, 20 years later, it reflects so truly her amazing versatility.
We have been a family of four (now extended to five with my bro-in-law’s addition to it). Through our growing years till date, (I would like to believe I am still growing!) Mom has been a source of infectious energy in our lives. As one of my cousins says about her and I quote, “when we are depressed and in need of an injection of positivity (sic!), we drive to her place. After spending an hour of fun, laughter and contentment, we come back refreshed with renewed vigour and vitality for life”. Seems she has an alternate career lined up as a self-help guru! You think what I say is clichéd? Read on………
She had been diagnosed with Diabetes 18 years back. And Sciatica before that. And frozen shoulder after that. Add chickenguniya, measles (!) and what not in between! Do you think all this has dampened her spirit and zest for life? Visit us at 6 am or 11 pm and she’ll be smilingly welcoming you at the door. Want to discuss politics, music, films or sports and she’ll be an avid participant. Need to know recipes for Bengali, Tamil, Gujarati or Punjabi food, she’ll cook and show it to you how it’s done. From world news to neighbourhood gossip she’s clued on and has an opinion on every issue No wonder, after my leaving the nest for pastures of work, none of my friends have stopped visiting home. In fact, my presence or absence is incidental and hardly matters!
You would think that after seeing her son “settled” at work, and her daughter “married” blissfully, she would relax and spend sum quiet time at home? Quiet? It’s actually the last adjective in her vocabulary. She’s taken up singing (intending to qualify for “sa re ga ma” no less), and is learning music. That is, when she’s not on orkut chatting up with “friends” of her contemporaries’ grandchildren! If my Dad is the “navigator” in the family and we children, playful backseaters, Mom is truly the “driver” of the family!
Did I say “driver”? She’s now even taken that literally! Not satisfied being driven around by Auto and Taxi wallahs (they take you for a ride (pun intended), she complains!), son, friends or relatives, she now wants to be in the driver’s seat, herself. You can never take her away from action any which way! Last heard, at 54 years of age, she was the eldest “student” at the driving school (and I can bet the most enthusiastic). When reports last came in, she’d conquered the roads of Jabalpur (my native place) on gears 3 and 4. The only problem, she tells me is that she can’t drive in “reverse”. Don’t you know, Mom? – that’s a gear you have never learnt in life!
Happy birthday to someone who
Protects like a father
Guides like a brother
Teases like a sister and
Loves like a mother!
When I look back at this creation today, 20 years later, it reflects so truly her amazing versatility.
We have been a family of four (now extended to five with my bro-in-law’s addition to it). Through our growing years till date, (I would like to believe I am still growing!) Mom has been a source of infectious energy in our lives. As one of my cousins says about her and I quote, “when we are depressed and in need of an injection of positivity (sic!), we drive to her place. After spending an hour of fun, laughter and contentment, we come back refreshed with renewed vigour and vitality for life”. Seems she has an alternate career lined up as a self-help guru! You think what I say is clichéd? Read on………
She had been diagnosed with Diabetes 18 years back. And Sciatica before that. And frozen shoulder after that. Add chickenguniya, measles (!) and what not in between! Do you think all this has dampened her spirit and zest for life? Visit us at 6 am or 11 pm and she’ll be smilingly welcoming you at the door. Want to discuss politics, music, films or sports and she’ll be an avid participant. Need to know recipes for Bengali, Tamil, Gujarati or Punjabi food, she’ll cook and show it to you how it’s done. From world news to neighbourhood gossip she’s clued on and has an opinion on every issue No wonder, after my leaving the nest for pastures of work, none of my friends have stopped visiting home. In fact, my presence or absence is incidental and hardly matters!
You would think that after seeing her son “settled” at work, and her daughter “married” blissfully, she would relax and spend sum quiet time at home? Quiet? It’s actually the last adjective in her vocabulary. She’s taken up singing (intending to qualify for “sa re ga ma” no less), and is learning music. That is, when she’s not on orkut chatting up with “friends” of her contemporaries’ grandchildren! If my Dad is the “navigator” in the family and we children, playful backseaters, Mom is truly the “driver” of the family!
Did I say “driver”? She’s now even taken that literally! Not satisfied being driven around by Auto and Taxi wallahs (they take you for a ride (pun intended), she complains!), son, friends or relatives, she now wants to be in the driver’s seat, herself. You can never take her away from action any which way! Last heard, at 54 years of age, she was the eldest “student” at the driving school (and I can bet the most enthusiastic). When reports last came in, she’d conquered the roads of Jabalpur (my native place) on gears 3 and 4. The only problem, she tells me is that she can’t drive in “reverse”. Don’t you know, Mom? – that’s a gear you have never learnt in life!
Sunday, April 19, 2009
My Dad, my hero
Remember that line in Love Story (by Erich Segal, a captivating read of two young college sweethearts) when Oliver introduces his girlfriend, Jenny to his father? (a successful businessman, and a wonderful sportsman – Olympian no less in his student days) He wonders if she noticed that “he’s an inch taller than me”. On innumerable occasions, in school and college, I have experienced Oliveritis myself, as my dad has been and remains an inch taller than me :-)
And, just as Oliver, I always feel that it would be great if someday, I can measure upto him. And just as him, I realize that catching upto my Dad’s achievements is going to leave me panting all through life. (I can relate to the Indian Oliver, Abhishek Bachhan here as well ;-)) And as I am sure is with him, my heart swells with pride when I talk about him with friends and colleagues.
And just as big B’s cup of victories overflows, here comes another feather in my Dad’s cap. At the age of 60, when his peers are mulling deep matters like which pilgrimages to make, my Dad’s choosing which stocks to invest in! When his contemporaries’ daily ritual starts with taking their grandchildren to prep school, he finishes the economic times and browses the latest on the net. And when his friends are contemplating where to “settle” in, he is evaluating which IIM to join for further studies!
For those who are not aware, he’s taken the CAT this year and scored 99.3 percentile. I don’t know if the IIMs keep a record of scores, but I can bet on it being the highest score by a 30+ candidate, ever! I read somewhere that a person’s brain continues to sharpen from birth, is sharpest at the age of 20, and then starts to wane. Keeping that in mind, (no pun unintended) I can only imagine his score had he taken the CAT 40 years ago!
He’s intending to join IIM – Indore in July for a FPM (Ph.D) program in Management. His area of research would be data mining. (IT for the uninitiated) It’s the same institute which rejected my application 10 years ago when I wanted to do an MBA from there. But, as my girlfriends in college realised, so do the professors at the IIMs, that even at this age, he’s the smarter one in the family. After all, he’s an inch taller me!.......always :-)
And, just as Oliver, I always feel that it would be great if someday, I can measure upto him. And just as him, I realize that catching upto my Dad’s achievements is going to leave me panting all through life. (I can relate to the Indian Oliver, Abhishek Bachhan here as well ;-)) And as I am sure is with him, my heart swells with pride when I talk about him with friends and colleagues.
And just as big B’s cup of victories overflows, here comes another feather in my Dad’s cap. At the age of 60, when his peers are mulling deep matters like which pilgrimages to make, my Dad’s choosing which stocks to invest in! When his contemporaries’ daily ritual starts with taking their grandchildren to prep school, he finishes the economic times and browses the latest on the net. And when his friends are contemplating where to “settle” in, he is evaluating which IIM to join for further studies!
For those who are not aware, he’s taken the CAT this year and scored 99.3 percentile. I don’t know if the IIMs keep a record of scores, but I can bet on it being the highest score by a 30+ candidate, ever! I read somewhere that a person’s brain continues to sharpen from birth, is sharpest at the age of 20, and then starts to wane. Keeping that in mind, (no pun unintended) I can only imagine his score had he taken the CAT 40 years ago!
He’s intending to join IIM – Indore in July for a FPM (Ph.D) program in Management. His area of research would be data mining. (IT for the uninitiated) It’s the same institute which rejected my application 10 years ago when I wanted to do an MBA from there. But, as my girlfriends in college realised, so do the professors at the IIMs, that even at this age, he’s the smarter one in the family. After all, he’s an inch taller me!.......always :-)
Thursday, April 16, 2009
My first post!
remember yr first day in school? i vaguely reminisce mine. amidst mama's boys, crybabies and the tremblers, i valiantly told my mom that i would "manage" my day in school. (Obviously, it helped that my classteacher was my aunt, a known family friend)........three decades later, the same feel in the gut engulfs me as i close the gap on my next generation by venturing into the world of blogging :-)........keep visiting and wish me luck.
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